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舊 08-30-07, 09:19 PM   #12
PTX-003C
God of Gamer
天下第一盲鬼
 
註冊日期: Dec 2004
文章: 9,129
PSN  IDKazamiChris
XBox Live GamertagGesphest MK III
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作者: 尼路 查看文章
昨天終於看完了,現在給些意見。
先說一說排版,字有點小,看得頗辛苦……而且錯字也很多,46和47頁還出現人名錯誤……而vw2中階級,準少尉之後便是中尉,沒了少尉……是趕著印刷對稿次數不足?

接著是一些設定上的問題想問一下,mt的大小,戰艦的大小,還有這時代的雷達功效之類的。(機體大小可以在說頻找到,但對只買書的人來說,卻是甚麼也不知,因為書後的設定只有圖,沒有解說……也沒有歷史……)
因為憑著個人的小知識,有很多地方想吐糟,但又不知道是否設定上有,不過沒表現出來……
只是總覺得空牙比現代戰機還不如這點……是很難改變……

說回故事,到底是主角的復原能力強還是醫療進步……不論是甚麼傷也是一醒來便可以四處走動,而身邊的人也當他真的是沒甚麼事的……(如果在現代立場看來,三成燒傷已經是命危……未來的醫療還真進步……自我補完中)
另就是角色太多,看完整本書,有些人物不出場對故事根本沒太大影響的(如承叔一類)。
總括來說,我看得很抽離……因為對很多事也不了解,對人物也沒有共嗚或感情,只是看著一件件事而已,感覺有點像看機戰的過場劇情,不過差在對人物和故事背景的了解度……

話雖如此,但其實自己也是面對這些問題,也沒太多資格說別人,不過感覺上把問題說出來,才可以找尋解決的方法,提昇自己的實力。(有一半是對自己說的)所以請好好加油吧。
for the words and error, i am quite sorry, i already spent a week on fixing errors and stuff, but cuz time was really running out at that time.

i am still trying to fix up the errors i have currently.

i did forget to input the height and sizes of units and machines, that's my fault.
for the history part...i decided to put that in in the second book, because i believe noone will actually read a 4000-year time chart in the first book.

空牙比現代戰機還不如這點……是很難改變……<<<
i do admit i made it a little too weak....i don't understand and know modern fighters too well...even i tried to do some researches, it is still quite hard for me to understand them well enough in a short period. but to be even more honest....i could have made the battle end even faster....


說回故事,到底是主角的復原能力強還是醫療進步……不論是甚麼傷也是一醒來便可以四處走動,而身邊的人也當他真的是沒甚麼事的……(如果在現代立場看來,三成燒傷已經是命危……未來的醫療還真進步……自我補完中)<<<

afterall....it's 4000 years after now, and after 2 other major wars...i do suppose the medical technology had increased a lot, that ammount of injury is not that hard to recover at that time.

另就是角色太多,看完整本書,有些人物不出場對故事根本沒太大影響的(如承叔一類)。
總括來說,我看得很抽離……因為對很多事也不了解,對人物也沒有共嗚或感情,只是看著一件件事而已,感覺有點像看機戰的過場劇情,不過差在對人物和故事背景的了解度……<<

i am trying to solve that problem too....
i wonder what can i do to help making it better

感覺有點像看機戰的過場劇情<<
maybe because i try to pay more attention on their daily lives instead of major battles..that's why. i prefer to write a story about how do they live in that kind of world instead of trying to write a hardcore military novel


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此篇文章於 08-30-07 09:31 PM 被 PTX-003C 編輯。
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